Who I Really Am

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I write and talk about a lot of different things, some of which have earned me respect and some have done just the opposite.  I often get messages or sit-down in conversations with people who have a much different perception of me than who I really am.  What I mean by this is, often people put me in a much higher “placement” than I actually am, or deserve.

This is an article that is directly related to me and who I am.  I realize some of you don’t actually know who I am, so this blog might not really interest you.  Feel free to click the little X at this time.  I also realize that some of you know who I am and don’t care.  Haha, I’m okay with that.  But for the faithful few who actually take interest in who I am, this is a closer look at who I really am.  I hope it challenges you to acknowledge who you really are as well as aspires you to be something greater!

If you don’t already know, I am a youth pastor at a church.  The typical thing for people in ministry, that I notice, is we tend to hide our flaws.  Everyday is our Sunday Best.  Now, every pastor will tell you they are open and honest about everything, but if you ask the people of the church, they are most likely going to think of their leader as a saint.  This is not wrong thinking, your pastor has worked hard, studied hard, and prayed even harder to get where he is and be who he is, but he/she is still just like you.  So, I thought it would be fun for the faithful few who actually care about the writer of these blogs to get to know who I really am.

One of my favorite things to hear in conversation is “You are wise beyond your years.”

This is probably a pride thing, but I love it.  Wisdom is something I work on everyday.  But really, there is nothing special going on.  I’m an average student.  I’m smart in certain areas, but nothing stands out.  I’m not a real motivated person, you can figure that out if you looked at my class attendance record or how often I make it to the gym.  I don’t really enjoy reading, I only do it to get better.  If you were with me all of the time you would realize I am not as “wise” as you may think, but rather quite foolish.  Sometimes I don’t think before I speak and sometimes I act out of emotion.  These haven’t gotten me in serious trouble, but it eventually embarrasses me because it is not the person I am or want to be.

On the other hand, there are some of you who know me well and none of this surprises you.  For those of you who fall in this category, thanks for your patience and thanks for being my friend!

I think the one thing I do, that some don’t, is hang out with the people I want to be like.  I want to be someone who makes great decisions in life, so I work to hang out with people who have done just that.  I want to be someone who loves his wife his entire life, so I try to be around people who do just that.  I want to be a great dad, so I work to get know great dads.  I want to be a great preacher and youth pastor, so I work to hang out with people who are just those things.  I try to surround myself with people that I want to be like and sometimes their wisdom rubs off.

“How do you have the time and energy to do everything that you do?  Do you never sleep?”

I usually reply with something sarcastic at first, but really the secret is just don’t be lazy and don’t tell yourself you can’t do it.  A lot of the times our biggest opposition is ourselves.  Now, there is a line you can cross that goes over into “doing too much,” but really if you are effective with your time, you can do a lot more than you ever thought you could.  I’m about to graduate in four years.  I’ve been serving as a youth pastor for two of those.  I drive 45 minutes to church multiple times a week.  I volunteer with multiple college ministries.  I travel all the time and I am also working to get my ministers credential.  I’m not bragging, none of that is really “impressive.”

But, if you ask my roommates they will tell you my life isn’t really that crazy.  Other than being gone a lot of the time, my life is pretty simple.  I take naps 3-4 times a week.  I sit down and watch a movie multiple times a week and spend a good amount of time cruising Facebook or writing these blogs.  I love spending time with my friends and I love to sit down with my guitar and sing worship songs in my bedroom for hours.  I get to do everything I want to do while still tackling the big things in life.  Figure out your priorities, set some goals, and don’t be lazy. You can do more than you think you can and you don’t have to give up everything to do it.

“You’ve got your life together.”

This is where I shake my head.  Honestly, no I don’t.  I promise you.  I know a lot of people but I don’t have many friends.  If you are one of the unfortunate few that I call “friend,” you know better than I do that my life is definitely not together.  I struggle every single day with one thing or another.  In fact, I am in the midst of a massive storm as we speak.  I’ve had to step back from my everyday normal life and remind myself what things are most important.  It is humbling, it truly is.  But I’m not ashamed.  Life is tough and thank goodness we don’t have to do it alone.

Life hits us with storms.  But the great thing is that when you are in the midst of the storm, you know eventually the sun is coming out.  It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but eventually that sun is coming out.  Plus, the rainy storms are necessary for life to grow.  So while it never feels like it, when life sucks, it may just be one of the greatest growth periods of our lives.

“You’re a good person.”

I always laugh at this one.  No, I’m not.  Just as many of you, I’ve said things I shouldn’t have said, I’ve done things I shouldn’t have done, I’ve pushed people to places I shouldn’t have pushed them and I’ve acted in ways I shouldn’t have acted.  The only thing good about me is the man that I serve, and in case you haven’t figure that out yet, it’s Jesus.

I’m a pretty open book when it comes to my failures and I think many of you would be surprised to hear some of the foolish things I have done.  Part of getting better everyday is openly recognizing your faults and your failures.  My toughest critic is myself.  Sometimes thats a good thing and sometimes thats a bad thing.  Regardless, at the end of the day, we are all sinners in need of a Savior.  Luckily, we have one.

It is really hard to write about yourself without coming off as conceited or arrogant.  So if you got that impression as you read this, I apologize.  The whole purpose of this is to give a better understanding of who I really am and remove any pedestals people have placed me on.  If nothing I said to you was “news” to you, thanks for sticking around me!

If you have any questions, I’m an open book, ask away.  You can ask a question here or you can contact me through other social media!

If this is your first time here, check out some of my other blogs.  It is mostly crap, but there are a couple gems in there, somewhere!

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8 Comments Add yours

  1. Lisa Alexander says:

    The person who should benefit the most from this is you. Personally I have never believed that we learn by words but rather by example. In other words, don’t talk the talk so much as walk the walk. None of us are great by who we are but rather by who we hope to be and at the end of the day that we made enough of a difference to be remembered. That you desire this makes you special and loved.

  2. kaitemarie8 says:

    You’re a wonderful writer and love what I have read so far. Keep writing 🙂 God bless you 😀

  3. Don’t ever stop being transparent- this is how we as vessels for God can help change lives! Even though our little writings.
    -Sav

  4. I’d say you’re Human. & Lucky. Maybe the pedestal’s not right, but there are people who love you flaws & all. Some people don’t have that. In fact a lot of people focus on the negative in life and it sounds, to me, that you’ve worked hard to surround yourself with positivity.

    As Humans were Not Flawless. In fact, it’s a Lot harder to be ‘Good’ than it is to be ‘Bad’. So Congratulations, maybe your life isn’t ‘together’, but you seem to be trying as best you can toto stay true to You & be Happy. I really hope that, overall, your life is Happy. 🙂

  5. I don’t know you one bit, but I follow your blog and am inspired by every single word you post. I haven’t been following for that long, but what I’ve read has been pretty phenomenal. To me, you didn’t come across as conceited at all. 🙂 It’s nice to get to know the writer behind the story, just as it is nice to get to know the writer behind the song. When we get to do that, we get a glimpse into the life of someone special who is willing to share themselves to everyone who will accept them. You are continually blessing me with your posts and I’m so glad that God led me to your blog. It takes something that not many people have to be able to share wisdom and spread God’s love, which you have done, seemingly effortlessly. I’ll be praying that God gives you clarity and strength in the storm you’re in right now and that He continues to bless you in countless ways. 🙂

  6. Emilie says:

    Great post and thanks for sharing but I’ve got to ask…what’s with the picture?

  7. I every time emailed this web site post page to all my contacts, because if like to read it then my contacts will too.

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